Rules for proper communication or how to develop quality communication

Suddenly, everyone wants to talk to you. One of the essential things in the business world is, without a doubt, communication skills.

In the modern world in which we live and operate, people increasingly use concise communication – especially the younger generation, who send about 100 written messages a day. A significant part of the messages goes through a short written form without verbal communication.

Writing has become more popular than ever, and people no longer listen to each other. Every opinion is fixed, known, and does not allow the other side to express its position.

Proper communication is based on clear and basic rules, both physical, like nodding in agreement or directly looking into another person’s eyes or verbal rules” like summarising another person’s words as a show of understanding and sometimes agreeing with them.

There is no point in teaching ourselves to pretend to listen and be attentive. One needs to learn true listening to reach a level of communication that becomes beneficial.

Below are 10 rules for proper communication:

1. Don’t occupy yourself with anything else during the call, and don’t “multitask” either – turning off the phone is the first thing, but not the only one. Any unnecessary fiddling with the hands during a conversation is undesirable. You should be focused on the conversation and nothing else.

2. Be accessible – in every conversation, you have to give a little of yourself, and you have to be willing to receive and keep an open mind to change and new ideas. A person who wishes only to express their opinion unilaterally should stick to writing a blog or opinion piece online. Otherwise, it is unwise and unhealthy for the conversation and the relationship to follow. You should come to the conversation with an attitude that “I may have something to learn from the other person. It is not by chance that sages said: “Who is a sage? – He who learns from every person. It is said: ‘From all my teachers I have learned.”

3. Ask questions – During the conversation, it is essential to ask questions that provoke a response and show that you are listening, such as Whom? What? Why? When? How? Where? Questions are important in any project you approach and any system you manage.

The broader the question, the more it will entice the other side to respond and speak freely. This will teach you a lot about the other person and prompt them to think and rethink their position and response.

For example: If you ask a person, “why were you scared?” They will describe in detail the nature of the fear they felt. But a closed question, such as “were you afraid of losing the business during the Covid-19?” The answer to that would be a “yes” or a “no” and nothing more.

4. Keep the conversation flowing – Do not get stuck on one thing that was said. Often, we see on news and media interviews that a guest is prompt to reply to a question that they have already spent a minute and a half trying to answer.

Why does this happen?

Because the interviewer heard something interesting and is ‘caught’ in it, they are now directing their attention to thinking of a follow-up question or their position on the matter and have stopped listening. They are stuck! 

Therefore, it is essential to keep the conversation flowing and not let personal thoughts get in the way of listening. 

5. Imagine you are being recorded – as if every word that comes out of your mouth is documented. This will motivate you to be clear, careful, and precise.

People who know in advance that they are being recorded, especially when talking about their expertise, will tend to be more careful about how they portray themselves. They will “consider their words” and give more significant consideration to everything they say, vastly improving the conversation’s quality.

6. This is not the time to self-promote! – If the other side shares an experience, your initial response might be to say, “yes, that happened to me, and this is how I dealt with it.” but that would be a mistake.

It is their moment to express themselves, and you should be focused on what is happening to them and their personal experience. This is not the time to self pat yourself on your back. Understand that every experience differs from person to person, be there for the other, invest in understanding their own experience.

7. Don’t repeat yourself – It is commonly known that a person who wishes to prove their point tends to repeat it many times. They hammer the same message repeatedly, and no one likes to hear the same thing repeatedly (especially when conversing with children and teens). This causes an almost immediate sense of boredom and loss of attention.

8. Don’t dwell on small details – it is less important to remember dry details such as dates, names, and places and less relevant to the conversation. People tend to talk retrospectively, using a lot more information. Most details become noise that clutters your memory of the conversation needlessly.

9. Make an effort to listen – When a person speaks and says something to others, they feel more confident, more in control, and not challenged to listen to someone else. It’s really hard to hear!

A person can say up to 250 words per minute and hear 500 words per minute, and this gap creates a real difficulty in listening. Therefore, hearing is more complicated than speaking because everyone gets bored when listening for too long.

But you have no choice in the matter. To maintain the quality of communication, you must hone your listening ability. Most people do not listen to understand but rather find their cue to talk to themselves.

10. Come to learn – Each person is unique in their special way, and you would be wise to see everyone in some way. You should always begin the conversation, knowing that you may be surprised by the person’s knowledge sitting in front of you. You always have the opportunity to learn something new that you didn’t know before.

Interpersonal communication is the best way to convey information to each other, whether through words, body language, facial expressions, tone of voice, and more.

Interpersonal communication in the workplace in particular and in various settings, in general, is essential and significant for business development and personal and professional relationships.

Hopefully, this article will help us develop quality communication on the path to success.

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